I used to worry a lot about who I would be when I grew up. Really, how much money I’d make or if some day I’d become some big deal. Sometimes I think the thing that you most want doesn’t happen. And sometimes the thing you never expect actually does occur. I don’t know. You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you; and then you meet one person…and your life is changed forever.
a condition characterized by scanning faces in a crowd looking for a specific person who would have no reason to be there, which is your brain’s way of checking to see whether they’re still in your life, subconsciously patting its emotional pockets before it leaves for the day.
I’m leaving Seattle before the week is over to go back home. I guess it’s not a real “goodbye” yet but it is to those who are not my immediate family. I’ve been getting hardcore cold feet lately. Ha. Who would’ve thought. I’m always talking about throwing the deuces and now that it is up close and real, I’m getting a bit scared. Mostly because I only get a whole 8 days with my family before leaving them until 2013. Durrr. I can’t do that. I was banking on a month long goodbye before flying out. I’m gonna miss them too much.
Other than that, sadly or luckily, I really don’t have much to look back on, except the exception. I mean, school is shit, who likes it? The weather is shit. Who likes rain? The partying is pretty fucking boring these days. Can I be 21 yet? Friends are coooo…turns out my mains will all be in Cali working with me anyway.
Then comes Europe. If all goes as planned I get to spend a kick ass month backpacking..chilling…partying..sightseeing…getting lost and doing crazy things in crazy places with a pretty cool travel buddy. After that is a whole new world. I’m excited.
So what’s the exception. Welp. With everybody else, I know what’s gonna happen, whether I don’t stay too much in touch or do when I’m gone, I’m gonna come back and everything is gonna be the same. Everyone will be here. There’s just one person that I’m rolling dice with. No matter how much we say that it’ll be fine. Who knows, tons can happen in the in between…. I’m kinda feeling weird and scared and sad and at the same time excited to see what it leads to…let’s roll the dice.
I don’t mean to offend anybody and it is definitely not directed at a specific person but I’m so ready to get the fuck away from all of you and see new pretty and ugly faces wherever I go. I’m sooooooo ready to not understand anybody and fuck up trying to spit out my french. Seriously dudes, no offense intended…
Maybe it’s the excitement to be in the continent and country I’ve always wanted to be, but lately, I’ve been feeling like I need something new more than ever. I need someone new. School got old, college experience got old, Seattle got old, and not gonna lie…people got boring…and well……no offense intended. It seems like I’ve been putting more effort to distance myself from all my friends lately than to enjoy what I have left around in the states. I admit partial fault to that but when shit just doesn’t fly no mo, I rather give in for what the friendship is worth. Unfortunately, I’m up to my head with giving in and I’m about to start talking too much. I guess I just need a little time away to miss you all and be excited to see you again. I’m somewhat suffocated and I need to catch my breath, if that is understandable in any way.
Can’t see you everyday homies, can’t see you everyday……